Ah, summer: ‘Tis the season of Malibu beach houses, blockbusters in which at least one international landmark explodes, and skirts so short they almost don’t exist. It’s also traditionally when celebrities go completely off the rails. (Remember the summer of Nicole Richie’s DUI, Paris’s slammer time, and Lindsay’s coke pants? It was a veritable open bar of drama.) At least, that’s how it used to be; these days, all is quiet on the West Coast front. Too quiet. But far from thinking every star in Hollywood has forsaken mug shots for paparazzi photos of their bikini bodies, we actually fear this is the calm before the storm. We’re overdue for a tabloid train wreck, and we’ve got a short watch list of troubled Tinseltown souls we’re afraid might step up to the plate.
The Twilight Cast: Frankly, half of them could blow at any moment. Robert Pattinson wears a permanently frightened expression, possibly because a cabal of teen girls has taken up residence in the bushes in front of his house waiting for the right moment to propose; ditto Kristin Stewart, except those girls are more likely to try and shank her. Who wouldn’t crack under that pressure? We just hope new cast member and famed good girl Dakota Fanning is a calming and responsible presence, and that photos of her hitting the town with Stewart are innocuous. Because if she gets sucked into the vortex, we’re giving up and crying into a carton of Ben & Jerry’s.
Source: NY Mag
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